Hello Darlings,

Yes! Today we are doing it, we are talking LDR's (long distance relationships)! That is a topic that I am more familiar than I maybe would've liked because my husband and I were in a LDR for 2 1/2 years before we got married and moved to this beautiful island. Even now, I still try to nurture long distance relationships with my family and friends that are still left all over the places I have lived in the last few years. Be sure to join me on Monday for a LDR guide to girlfriends and family!

Being in a LDR is definitely not for everyone. Constantly being away from the people we love and relying almost solely on technology as a lifeline for constant communication is sometimes sad and slightly frustrating.

We had a little discussion over on Instagram about this topic and here is some of the fun stuff we came up with.

Room to breathe
Being far from each other sometimes gives time to focus on certain tasks (really stressful projects or school for example) and then really enjoy the special time spent together. I never really paid attention to this, but it was during those years that I was able to give myself completely to a very demanding job without any guilt. I would be in the office Facetiming while working really late on a project. It is also during that time that I did most of my traveling. We would call each other from Argentina, Venezuela, Peru or Chicago but never feeling like there was a difference in our separation because we kept the same rhythm of communication. Now, looking back, I can say that making the best of the situation by using your time wisely during this season can truly be beneficial in the long run.

Also, it goes without saying but... have a life. Make friends, engage in activities, hobbies and things that you enjoy so that you don't go crazy just being at home waiting for some type of sign or communication from your BF. 




Communicate
We texted, skyped (or FaceTimed) daily. We wrote emails, messages, occasional cards and hand-written letters during our courtship. On special occasions and on a "just because" occasions, I got little surprises delivered to my house, my office and hand delivered through my friends that acted as messengers. I think this is where people in LDR's really must get creative. Love makes you do crazy things and it is so important to constantly, throughout the day and week make your presence known. Not to be creepy or annoying but just to be "present". My love was not physically there but I never felt like he was too far emotionally. From the "good morning princess" text to the prayer and blessing he would give me at night before going to bed, even far apart, we created our own little traditions and fun ways to cope with the sadness of not being able to see each other for a few months at a time. 

I feel that since all we had was communication for most of our 2 year 1/2 relationship, our communication skills were and continue to be strong. However, we intentionally worked hard at it. This is, according to my opinion, what can potentially make or break a relationship; when you are able to keep your commitment to constant communication regardless of the distance, time change, poor reception or internet access. The truth is, the effort has to be made and as a couple you must find what works for you and do it constantly. 

Goodbyes
My husband and I joke about our perpetual "separation" anxiety attacks because of the trauma of all the times we had to leave each other. All the airports drop off, bus terminal hugs, hotel lobby embraces, passports, visas, airplanes, delays and long drives are all silent witnesses of our love story. The short times you get to spend together are so amazing that you just can't wait to do this forever, which is what we decided to do last May. But sometimes, the agony of not really knowing when it will be possible is rough, especially when you live in 2 different continents like some of my friends. 

We found that leaving letters, gifts, messages and even hidden gifts and surprises for the other person to find in the next hours after the separation helped. Now, with social media, it's really easy to document the special memories made in those short periods as opposed to other people that get to see each other all the time. 




Worthy of trust
Being away for special occasions, not being present on nights when you feel like going on a date or when your love is not there to simply chill, puts us in a vulnerable position whether we realize it or not. Here we are living our life, meeting interesting people that we can physically see and laugh with face to face on a regular basis. And yes, you will be tempted sometimes. I am not saying that you will set out to be downright unfaithful or that you will fall for it but you may allow yourself to spend more time with that "friend" that satisfies all the emotional needs your distant significant other can not fulfill at the moment. This is tricky to talk about but remember that this relationship is your choice, so be honest and be worthy of trust. Be transparent (which is why communication is super important). Sometimes this means sacrifice what is happening "now" for something greater later.

Obviously "le hubby" and I were in this relationship because we knew that we wanted to be serious about it. make sure that if you decide to put in all the effort that a long distance relationship takes, that you are both on the same page and desire to see it succeed. Are you in a long distance relationship? What advice would you give to people that are in a similar situation? 

One of my favorite movies concerning this topic is "Like Crazy", not because of the ending (sorry if I am spoiling it for anyone) but really just because I totally relate to their despair.  


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